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@SQLFool SQL Server Rap Contest

So Ward Pond and Michelle Ufford started this SQL rap contest.

I figured I’d post my entry on a Friday afternoon when most probably wont see it LOL but here it is….

 

To the tune of Regulate – Warren G (have a listen)

DB Administrators
we replicate any size of data
and we damn good too
but you can’t be any geek of the street
gotta be handy with the DBCCs if you know what I mean, earn your keep!
DB Administrators…. MOUNT UP
 
It was an on call night, inbox zero
Benchmark was on the Wii, playing some Guitar Hero
some buzzing on the berry, jacked up my perfect score
When the chiGong hits it makes me run for the door
 
I VPNed in on my Dell PC
on a mission to get back to playing my Wii
Seen a bunch of errors aint no need to tweak
I logged into the server using RDP
 
So I checked out the logs, swearing as I go
going through the damn thing row by agonizing row
I jumped on the error and said What’s Up
My backup job hung yeah the b*tch was stuck
 
If you know like I know
You don’t wanna step to this
It’s the DB-Admin era
funked out with a SQL twist
If you alert like I alert
then you buzzed like everyday
and your ass dials in cause
DBA will regulate

So I stopped the job and then starting to think
I got mad thirsty so I demanded a drink
My wife looked at me like I was insane
Looks like I’m gonna be in for a night of pain
 
So back to the server and the error I found
Silence in my office nothing making a sound
I crack my knuckles I’m up for the case
Looks like the backup server just ran out of space
 
I clean up the drive and kick off the job
Thinking to myself the server admin is a knob
why’d I get the call, this aint my domain
Come Monday that punk is in a world of pain
 
If you know like I know
You don’t wanna step to this
It’s the DB-Admin era
funked out with a SQL twist
If you alert like I alert
then you buzzed like everyday
and your ass dials in cause
DBA will regulate

OK it’s not my proudest moment LOL but contests like this are fun and big thanks to Michelle and Ward for coming up with it.

Enjoy!!

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2 Comments

  1. If Microsoft is adopting Android instead then that suggests we won’t be seeing Windows 10 handsets after all, which just seems like too big a concession for Microsoft from where we’re standing.

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