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The 5 Love Languages – A Professional Point Of View

(Bear with me through the first part… there is a “professional” theme to the post LOL)

OK so wifey and I before getting married were required to take a marriage course. I wasn’t at the time entirely sure why. Perhaps this is where they told her to have my pipe and slippers ready for me when I get home? Sadly no… but one of the things that did come out of the course was something called the 5 Love Languages.

Everyone has a love language… some have more then one. Your love language is the way that you know that someone else appreciates you. The 5 love languages are:

  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch
  • Word of Affirmation

Now lets look at this from a professional team point of view. I think in order to be a successful team member and/or manager one needs to figure out the individual team members “love language”. Let’s go through the “love languages” and turn them into more “Team Love Languages”

Quality Time – If a team members TLL (Team Love Language) is Quality Time then they are the type of person who likes to talk about the work they are currently doing, or work they have done in the past. If you engage this type of individual and show a real interest in something they are or have worked on this will let the team member know that what they do matters and you are appreciative.

Receiving Gifts – OK so if we were to turn this into a more “office” setting… receiving gifts could be anything from a bonus, raise, more holidays, etc. Money is a great motivator but it’s not EVERYONE’S motivator. As a team member if someone really came through and maybe even saved your #bacon why not take this person for a coffee or a lunch and just say thanks.

Acts of Service – Let’s say someone on the team is in a pinch and little Billy has a hockey game on the weekend but this is the weekend that they were supposed to install some service packs. Why not take one for the team… help out and offer to do the service pack installs for them. Not only will they appreciate it (and will return the favor down the road) you end up looking like an oober team player.

Physical Touch – Don’t do this… I repeat… DO NOT DO THIS. I don’t care how much you THINK this persons “Love Language” is physical touch…. DO NOT TOUCH ANYONE IN ANYWAY

Words of Affirmation – If a team member’s TLL is Words of Affirmation they make sure when they do a good job that you let them know. Privately or publically acknowledge that they did a job well done and it was great work.

OK so this post wont rank very high on the “geekitude” scale but working WITH your team is a very important aspect in most jobs out there and if you don’t take an interest and learn how best to work with your team you’ll find your job becomes more difficult and less enjoyable in the long run.

{{{GROUP HUG}}} hahahaa




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  1. Wild shot, but do you happen to be getting married in the Kitchener/Waterloo area?

  2. nope 🙂 Edmonton.

    I think the course (and content) are probably pretty standard stuff as I’ve talked to other friends across canada who had to go through the same stuff.

    I think the one thing that my wife and I took from the course and have really found useful is that SHE deals with HER family and I deal with MY family.

    Thanks for the comment!

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